No Family Should Measure Justice in School Years

When people hear that I've filed a disability discrimination complaint with the Office for Civil Rights (OCR), one of the first things they ask is whether I've heard anything yet.

Usually, my answer is some version of, "I'm still waiting."

And that's where the frustration begins.

I understand that OCR has procedures to follow and that investigations take time. They have to review evidence, determine jurisdiction, and follow federal processes before reaching conclusions.

What is much harder to understand is what that waiting feels like for the person on the other side of the complaint.

When you file a disability discrimination complaint, you're not filing it because you have free time. You're filing it because you believe something important happened. You believe your rights were violated. You believe you were treated unfairly because of a disability.

Making that decision isn't easy.

For me, filing the complaint meant putting my trust in a system that was supposed to carefully review the facts and determine whether discrimination occurred.

What I wasn't prepared for was how much patience the process would require.

Months go by.

Then more months.

Eventually, you stop wondering when you'll get a response and start wondering whether anyone fully understands the impact that the delay has on the people involved.

The difficult part is that disability discrimination cases aren't just paperwork.

Behind every complaint is a real person.

Someone who has already experienced stress, frustration, embarrassment, or even humiliation.

Someone who has already spent countless hours gathering records, organizing evidence, and trying to explain what happened.

When the process drags on, it can start to feel like you're carrying the weight of the situation indefinitely.

The investigation may simply be one case among many to the government, but to the person who filed it, it's personal.

Very personal.

Sometimes I find myself wondering whether the process is moving at all. Other times I remind myself that there are likely investigations happening behind the scenes that I can't see.

Still, the lack of visibility can be incredibly frustrating.

It's hard not to think about it.

It's hard not to check for updates.

It's hard not to question whether anything will ever come from it.

What makes it even more difficult is that life doesn't pause while the complaint is pending.

Work continues.

Family responsibilities continue.

New challenges appear.

Yet this unresolved issue remains in the background, waiting for an answer.

We filed this complaint when my daughter was a freshman. Now she's a junior.

That's probably the simplest way I can explain why this process feels so slow.

We've watched entire school years come and go while waiting for answers. Report cards, holidays, summers, and new semesters have passed. My daughter has continued growing, learning, and moving through high school, but the complaint remains unresolved.

Sometimes when people ask why I'm frustrated with the pace of the process, that's the first thing I think about. Not the paperwork. Not the emails. Not the procedures.

I think about the fact that my daughter was a freshman when this started, and now she's preparing for another year of high school.

No family should have to measure the length of a civil rights investigation in school years.

At times, it feels like we're watching some of the most important years of her life pass by while we're still waiting for someone to determine whether what happened to her mattered enough to deserve action.

I've learned that one of the hardest parts of pursuing accountability isn't filing the complaint.

It's enduring the silence afterward.

The waiting can make you question yourself.

It can make you wonder whether the effort was worth it.

It can make you consider giving up altogether.

I've gone back and forth on that more times than I can count.

Not because I stopped believing in my case, but because carrying a fight for a long period of time becomes exhausting.

At the end of the day, I understand why investigations need to be thorough. I don't want rushed decisions. I want fair decisions.

But I also believe people who bring forward disability discrimination concerns deserve timely answers.

When someone feels their rights have been violated, every additional month of waiting feels longer than the last.

For now, all I can do is continue being patient and hope that the system eventually provides the answers I've been seeking.

But if there's one thing I've learned from this experience, it's that the hardest part of filing a complaint isn't always proving what happened.

Sometimes it's simply waiting to be heard.